Dancing Hobbits
"Golly Samwise, who are these dorks?"Well, it's about time. I had a feeling that we'd see this one way or another, and here it is: "Lord of the Rings" The Musical! Kick up those hairy feet and get into the rhythm of the Orcs. Check out this article for more information. At $25 million (or more) it is the most expensive show every created, topping even Disney's "Lion King" by five million dollars. For now, the only place to see the show will be Canada (who somehow bought exclusive "North America" rights to the show) but it should be along in the U.S. by 2008. I can't quite figure out how they will pack all of the story, action, adventure, and complexity of the trilogy into one 2 hour show. Plus I don't know what "musical" numbers they will be able to put in. Possibly something like this (think "West Side Story"):
When you're an elf
You're elf all the way
From your pointy ears
to the beasts that you slay
When your an elf,
If the orc hits the fan,
You got brothers around,
You're an eternal man!
You're never alone,
You're never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When company's expected,
You're well protected!
You're never by yourself
With hobbits and men,
And memories on the shelf
Of how your life was spent.
When you're an elf,
You stay an elf!
You're elf all the way
From your pointy ears
to the beasts that you slay
When your an elf,
If the orc hits the fan,
You got brothers around,
You're an eternal man!
You're never alone,
You're never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When company's expected,
You're well protected!
You're never by yourself
With hobbits and men,
And memories on the shelf
Of how your life was spent.
When you're an elf,
You stay an elf!
Okay, it may not be exactly like that...but it's a start. It will be interesting to see the outcome of this project. Anyone venturing to Canada should check it out and report back. But act fast, they've already pre-sold $8.5 million worth of tickets.
posted by Spec at 12:55 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Your lyrics were great and probably much better than anything you might experience at this VERY BAD idea for a musical.
It's horrible marketing spinoffs like this that kept JRRT out of the movie business for so long. I hope his family can sleep well at night on the cash-stuffed mattresses. (disclaimer: I LOVED the PJ movies and pined for someone to make them all of my young and tender life . . . but this idea is just WRONG.)
Anyway, as to other potential musical numbers, you've got:
1. The Black Riders Appearance (Get Off the Road!)
2. Fool of a Took--sung as a comedic lament while deep in the Mines of Moria that soon blends into . . .
3. Balin's Tomb--a somber dirge that is Gimli's "moment" in the musical.
4. I'm Alive--a shameless rip off of the Xanadu song of the same name, sung by the resurrected Gandalf the White
5. How do you solve a problem like Treebeard?
6. Arwen Evenstar--the musical highpoint of the entire show, the song that everyone sings later, kind of like "Memories" from Cats.
7. Gollum's Song--a split personality tour-de-force (as interpreted by Nathan Lane) detailing the struggle between Smeagol and Gollum.
8. S is for Shire--Sam sings his guts out for home (think "Oklahoma") while helping Frodo up the side of Mt. Doom.
Rogers and Hammerstein, step back. The theater world should get ready for the singin' and dancin' magic of Spec and Burb. This is great stuff!
Look out for our musical stylings!
You've got a lot of ideas about this Burb, methinks you've contemplated this before.
Post a Comment
<< Home