Some questions
• Wouldn’t an alien civilization that was exactly like us, except that they act, dress, and talk like people did in the 1980s be the lamest thing ever?
• Do elderly celebrities wear Depends or other adult undergarments? If so, how do they cover up the crinkling sound when they walk around a movie set?
• How small was David Blaine’s “magic wand” after a week submerged in water?
• Was Jesus circumcised? If so, would his excess skin be able to forgive mankind’s sins?
• Are zoo animals from Africa confused by snow?
• Which former U.S. president would win in a fight? (More on this later)
• How old is too old for someone to be sexy?
• How young is too young?
• Have any animals become extinct over the past 100 years without us ever having known they existed in the first place?
• Were there ever such things as unicorns?
• Were there ever such things as dragons?
• Has anyone ever lost at Russian Roulette and been okay with it?
• If people had the ability to fly, would the FAA have to regulate it?
• If people could fly would cars every have been invented? Airplanes?
• If you do drugs in the privacy of your own home does anyone get hurt?
• What happens to marginally successful athletes, musicians, and actors after they can’t make money in their field anymore?
• Does everyone else assume that all dogs are male and all cats are female?
• Has anyone ever tried to mate a dog and a cat? What would such a union produce?
• Do elderly celebrities wear Depends or other adult undergarments? If so, how do they cover up the crinkling sound when they walk around a movie set?
• How small was David Blaine’s “magic wand” after a week submerged in water?
• Was Jesus circumcised? If so, would his excess skin be able to forgive mankind’s sins?
• Are zoo animals from Africa confused by snow?
• Which former U.S. president would win in a fight? (More on this later)
• How old is too old for someone to be sexy?
• How young is too young?
• Have any animals become extinct over the past 100 years without us ever having known they existed in the first place?
• Were there ever such things as unicorns?
• Were there ever such things as dragons?
• Has anyone ever lost at Russian Roulette and been okay with it?
• If people had the ability to fly, would the FAA have to regulate it?
• If people could fly would cars every have been invented? Airplanes?
• If you do drugs in the privacy of your own home does anyone get hurt?
• What happens to marginally successful athletes, musicians, and actors after they can’t make money in their field anymore?
• Does everyone else assume that all dogs are male and all cats are female?
• Has anyone ever tried to mate a dog and a cat? What would such a union produce?
posted by Spec at 4:56 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I (as usual) have the answers to all of your questions.
1. Ever watch "V"? Very Lame Indeed.
2. It's the gaffer's job.
3. He used "slight of groin" to make it appear larger.
4. No . . . unless the Pope or the next Dan Brown novel says otherwise.
5.Yes . . . something I've always wondered when visiting the Columbus, OH zoo.
6. Andrew Jackson would beat EVERYONE and fight dirty besides. OR JFK would hire the mob to wack all the rest.
7. Depends on how well the gaffers are doing their job (see answer #2).
8. Answering that question gets local police on your case.
9. 42--all species of beetle.
10. No.
11. According to a book I once read, dragons CANNOT exist unless there is magic to give them flight. Their body structure is impossible otherwise. So, consult David Blaine.
12. Doubt it--unless they were Imperial Stormtroopers. We all know they can't shoot straight.
13. Absolutely.
14. Yes. It's hard to carry 4 suitcases, portable cribs, kids bikes, DVD players, and a cooler of snacks while flying.
15. Aren't you someone?
16. VH1's "The Surreal Life."
17. Now that you mention it, partially.
18. A catdog, now showing on Nick Toons.
Thanks Burb! I knew I could count on you. I will have to disagree about the Andrew Jackson thing, though. You'll see why later today.
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